Celebrate Friends in your Thirties

Friends in your Thirties

By Christine Ryder

Celebrating Friends in your Thirties

The thirties bring new challenges and increased responsibility, but also the freedom of taking the wheel in our lives. Female friendships help keep our eyes on the road and fuel our journey through this dynamic decade.

Friends in your 30s enjoying wine together and laughing

In your thirties, the training wheels are officially OFF. Enter mortgages and promotions, travel, parenting, therapy, relationships, and on and on. The stuff, as they say, gets real.

If you completed the job of raising yourself in your twenties, you’ll step into the 30s with a clearer picture of your identity. You’ll have gone enough rounds to know better the kind of person or persons you want to dance with. You may have acquired enough skill or specialty to start earning “real money,” whatever that means to you. Friends in your thirties help you accelerate into this momentum.

This decade is an uncut highlight reel. So, the friendships you bring with you into it should be easy. Bad and sad things absolutely happen in the 30s decade, and there will undeniably be times when the friendship exchange is out of equilibrium. For the most part, however, you should get back as much as you put in.

Wise Words From Friends in Your Thirties

This is the decade where your life stage winnows which friendships actually thrive. Big shifts in relationship status, parental status, employment rank and earning power can all factor heavily into who you spend the most time with.

Here are the wise words from our closest circle of women about friendships in your 30s:

Normalize intergenerational friendships.

Allow yourself the gift of friendships with women both older and younger than yourself. We’re not talking about mentorship, although that has value too. E.g. If you're a new mom, get yourself an old mom friend. And if you’re an old mom, get yourself a freshie.

Navigating a life stage alongside someone with a perspective unique to yours is an exercise in neuroplasticity. It helps keep your mind flexible and your feedback loop dynamic. Most people can teach you something marvelous. If you’re kind and curious, you just might learn it.

Believe behavior patterns, not promises.

Beware the sunk-cost fallacy and get out of bad situations as cleanly as possible. This includes relationships that do not serve you well. Someone who cannot/ will not meet your emotional needs is not a suitable partner.

Be with someone who makes you feel good. There is no time for anything else.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve because of an arbitrary relationship timeline.The only way to screw up a wedding is to marry the wrong person. Everything after that is a bonus. Don’t overspend on one day.

Ask for what you want.

Most people want to do right by you, but no one has a clue what you need unless you tell them. This means, of course, that YOU have to know what you want. Figure that out. Change your mind if you want. Change it again. The moment you begin to speak up for yourself is when your adult life and relationships begin.

Use the good China.

Use it with pizza or Chinese takeout or pot roast. You don’t need a reason. If you drink, keep a bottle of champagne in your fridge for when something wonderful ‘pops’ up. This may be the last decade of your life that feels like 10 whole years. Time is tricky that way. Don’t save it for later. Enjoy the ‘good stuff’ right now.

Drink water. Wear sunscreen. Spend time outdoors.

We carried this over from Toast Your 20s because it is THAT important. One quick add - as life stress mounts, bad habits will have compounding effects. Start investing in habits and hobbies that payoff in wellness and longevity now.

You might be vibing and thriving with friends in your 30s, but are you scheduling downtime with them for those really important convos and growth sessions? Here’s a plan for it:

THEME: Take-Out Potluck

We’re thinking Autumn for this Unfussy Feast. You’ll be coming off of hot-girl Summer (or hot-mom Summer wrangling camps and day care on top of everything else - it’s the same right? 🫣). It’s time to come down from the high and gather your girls.

This cozy dinner party should be semi-homemade at most. Instruct everyone to bring their favorite take-out dish to share. You can serve right out of the boxes they come in or go wild “repotting” into serving dishes. Use your China if you have it.

Celebrate friendships in your 30s with an Unfussy Feast

Skip the decor and make it a comfy fashion theme. Wear your oldest sweatshirt. Don slogan socks. Only messy buns or beanies allowed. Do whatever suits you and your crew.

And speaking of crew - now is when you can (and frankly should) converge your friends. Introduce this group to that one. As the parts of you come into focus, you'll find there is excellent overlap between the women in your life. You get to be the matchmaker between the fabulous women you know getting to know other fabulous women. It's so very gratifying seeing friendships that you made happen, flourish.

For drinks, serve versatile white and red wines that can pair equally well with poke and sushi or pizza and soul food. We already put the perfect collection together for this one, you can check it out here.

Planning this event? Use Code Cheers25 to save 25% on any WyneTyme Wine Collection.